Posts tagged shitpost:

he got his π“ƒπ’Ύπ“…π“…π“π‘’π“ˆ sα΄œΚ€Ι’Ιͺα΄„α΄€ΚŸΚŸΚ ʀᴇᴍᴏᴠᴇᴅ

my girlfriend, talking about lightning mcqueen from cars (2006)

y'know, icarly was right. sometimes we do just need to live life, breathe air, know somehow we're gonna get there, and feel so wonderful

*clears my throat before speaking into the mic*


in the wise words of shakespeare

to minecraft or not to minecraft

we are on a date. we are eating at a window table at the nearby burger kings. we are both wearing crowns. we are in love.

i hate to inform you that, if you have bones...well, it's chronic πŸ˜”

my attention span is like a bowl of spaghetti noodle

you think that's cool? watch this

-i hunch forward, cracking my back and proceeding to crumple up like a piece of paper-

what the fuck is a gender im gonna eat your parents

what do you mean drinking a half-gallon of chocolate milk per day isnt healthy

ever just slap your own tiddies

its the gorilla instinct

attention all shoppers: our store has officially become a pvp-enabled zone

if you listen carefully, you can hear my bones cracking over the horizon

i dont remember drinking "juice that turns bones into rice krispies" juice

sir, please, that's my emotional support dirt

me: -drops down on a bar stool, exhausted- give me one glass of the stuff

bartender: -nods and goes to the back, rummaging for a bit before coming out with a gallon of chocolate milk and chicken nuggets-

bartender: -pours a glass and finishes it with a dinosaur-shaped nugget-

me: -tear rolls down my face- oh yeah that's it

snapple bottom jeans (jeans) boots with the tea (the tea)

quick! someone ask me if im going to be doing anything in the next 6 months

hey gamers watch this

-trips and lands face first into a kiddie pool, dying immediately on impact-

before pride month is over does anyone wanna tell me that they have a crush on me

*hands you a lego minecraft creeper*

y'all ever just :l -> :V