anxious ace from outer space

cosmic | they/them ♡ fae/faer | 19 | icon by @Tatumsdrawing

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Posts tagged shitpost:

*clears my throat before speaking into the mic*

himbos.


in the wise words of shakespeare

to minecraft or not to minecraft


we are on a date. we are eating at a window table at the nearby burger kings. we are both wearing crowns. we are in love.


i hate to inform you that, if you have bones...well, it's chronic 😔


my attention span is like a bowl of spaghetti noodle


you think that's cool? watch this

-i hunch forward, cracking my back and proceeding to crumple up like a piece of paper-


what the fuck is a gender im gonna eat your parents


what do you mean drinking a half-gallon of chocolate milk per day isnt healthy


ever just slap your own tiddies

its the gorilla instinct


attention all shoppers: our store has officially become a pvp-enabled zone


if you listen carefully, you can hear my bones cracking over the horizon


i dont remember drinking "juice that turns bones into rice krispies" juice


sir, please, that's my emotional support dirt


me: -drops down on a bar stool, exhausted- give me one glass of the stuff

bartender: -nods and goes to the back, rummaging for a bit before coming out with a gallon of chocolate milk and chicken nuggets-

bartender: -pours a glass and finishes it with a dinosaur-shaped nugget-

me: -tear rolls down my face- oh yeah that's it


snapple bottom jeans (jeans) boots with the tea (the tea)


quick! someone ask me if im going to be doing anything in the next 6 months


hey gamers watch this

-trips and lands face first into a kiddie pool, dying immediately on impact-


before pride month is over does anyone wanna tell me that they have a crush on me


*hands you a lego minecraft creeper*


y'all ever just :l -> :V


god gave me scoliosis because i wouldve been too powerful otherwise


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