anxious ace from outer space

cosmic | they/them ♡ fae/faer | 19 | icon by @Tatumsdrawing


Posts tagged shitpost:

*clears my throat before speaking into the mic*


in the wise words of shakespeare

to minecraft or not to minecraft

we are on a date. we are eating at a window table at the nearby burger kings. we are both wearing crowns. we are in love.

i hate to inform you that, if you have bones...well, it's chronic 😔

my attention span is like a bowl of spaghetti noodle

you think that's cool? watch this

-i hunch forward, cracking my back and proceeding to crumple up like a piece of paper-

what the fuck is a gender im gonna eat your parents

what do you mean drinking a half-gallon of chocolate milk per day isnt healthy

ever just slap your own tiddies

its the gorilla instinct

attention all shoppers: our store has officially become a pvp-enabled zone

if you listen carefully, you can hear my bones cracking over the horizon

i dont remember drinking "juice that turns bones into rice krispies" juice

sir, please, that's my emotional support dirt

me: -drops down on a bar stool, exhausted- give me one glass of the stuff

bartender: -nods and goes to the back, rummaging for a bit before coming out with a gallon of chocolate milk and chicken nuggets-

bartender: -pours a glass and finishes it with a dinosaur-shaped nugget-

me: -tear rolls down my face- oh yeah that's it

snapple bottom jeans (jeans) boots with the tea (the tea)

quick! someone ask me if im going to be doing anything in the next 6 months

hey gamers watch this

-trips and lands face first into a kiddie pool, dying immediately on impact-

before pride month is over does anyone wanna tell me that they have a crush on me

*hands you a lego minecraft creeper*

y'all ever just :l -> :V

god gave me scoliosis because i wouldve been too powerful otherwise