Posts tagged i still have screenshots of the whole convo so if anyone is curious feel free to message me abt it:

cosmicaces reblogged babushka

Controversial opinion...

babushka -

Saw this discussion on tumblr, gonna rephrase

Safe spaces where we'all can vent, relate to each other and joke about cishets without cishets being present are valid and important

And i think a huge chunk of tumblr was treated like this kind of a safe space, but now the line between safe space on the internet and the entire internet in general, which is full of cishets, is blurred, however, the attitude remains

Cishets people bump into "my content isn't for you, go away oppressor" as they try to interact with lgbt+ folks, and the educational blogs they are supposed to interact with to learn how to be a good ally often have similar negative attitude ( "you'll never make up for the oppression we've experienced so shut up, don't ask stupid questions" ). What happens then? Cishets decide that it's way too much of an effort to get educated about other people. They decide that lgbt+ folks don't need them and don't want them around. So they go back into their cishet circle. While still being the majority of the voters. And when asked "are you aware about the problems lgbtq+ people face?" they'll say "what problems? none of my friends face that problems" and find it hard to empathise with lgbtq+ folks because they haven't interacted with them at all. And then vote for something else instead of lgbtq+ rights.

This is just a thing that happens. I am not saying this is anyone's fault. I am not saying lgbtq+ folks have to get out of their way to interact with cishets - it's not just uncomfortable, i can be dangerous. You don't have to. But maybe we should separate vent spaces and discussion spaces so that everyone would feel safe. I really don't know. Also not everyone has to educate/make an education blog. If you don't wanna do it, if it wears you out, if you are not ready for how endlessly stupif people can be, maybe starting an educational blog is a bad idea. I really don't know anymore.

cosmicaces -

i absolutely agree with this.

while yes, lgbt+ people don't owe cishet people any kind of explanation, it's good to at least give them a nudge in the right direction or tell them someone who can? when you lash out at someone asking something that sounds like a stupid question, it's...not a good look for the community tbh! yeah, there's always the risk of someone not being genuine about it but that doesn't mean it's okay to lash out and say "this isn't for you," y'know?

imo, it's always good to try and give an explanation, but it's good to remind them that, being that they are cis, het, or both, that they cannot speak on certain topics in the slightest and to also listen to other gay, trans, or both ppls opinions on things. for me, i kinda try to explain things as best i can. if the ppl i'm explaining stuff to refuse to understand and try to talk over me, that's when i take a step back and say "ok, these people don't actually care" and move on

#cosmic chatter #a bit of tag talk here but im referencing something that happened in june in that 2nd paragraph #we were talkin abt some transphobic bs and the convo was between me and two cis ppl #i talked abt dysphoria using me and a friend as an example #and one of the cis ppl said "and you dont need to tell anyone that. its your business" #(well along those lines) #and while like...i could see she was trying to be nice #but the comment came completely unwarranted since im at peace w my dysphoria (for the most part) #and it just made no sense given the prior context #i had told her i knew but thanked her anyways #and then cis person 2 started being rlly aggressive and saying that i was trying to start a fight #i was trying to explain how the comment came off and she kept saying "but that wasn't her intention" #which. real quick! even if you don't intend harm your comments can come across as harmful #and she just kept saying that i was being a dick and turned around #thanked the server owner for making the server a safe place #also hit me w the "mother of two trans kids" schtick and :/ #when i contacted the server owner abt it later he was also. Not great #he criticized me for leaving the server and said "i robbed myself and others of the chance to grow" #which like...well if you read the convo #i tried to explain and i was very clear abt what i was saying #i don't need to grow. y'all do #he also started with the "i'm a privileged white cishet man" which #also not great #this is largely summing up the situation but im still highly bothered abt it #i still have screenshots of the whole convo so if anyone is curious feel free to message me abt it #ill go further in depth #oh yeah last thing! he blocked me afterwards lol

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